Zeta One (1969)

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Zeta One (1969)

Post  BoG on Fri Oct 31, 2014 11:30 pm

Director: Michael Cort, 86 min, color, 1969
What's Happening: Alien Queen Zeta kidnaps Earth women to join her scantily-clad "colony"
Famous For: Failed attempt to combine sci-fi, sex, psychedelia, and spies; a.k.a. "Alien Women"
Yutte Stensgaard fans (I know you're out there) should check out the much-maligned Zeta One. Everyone else should steer clear. Stensgaard plays strip poker, appears momently topless, and twice runs across the screen naked. She is also the only appealing personality in the film, doing her best with an awful script. The main point of the film (at least judging from the promotions and opening credits) is to depict sexy spacegirls in strange skimpy outfits, but this happens only about a quarter of the time. The rest is taken up by a nonsensical spy plot, foolish jokes, and tedious conversations about nothing. There is a distinct lack of atmosphere or unity. Exactly one visual gag is successful (I won't ruin it here, but it happens late in the film, in the secret agent meeting room). Exactly one verbal gag is successful (the anagram Angvia).
Cort, who neither wrote nor directed anything else, apparently had no idea what to do with the subject matter. First, it's almost completely unsexy. Dozens of girls appear topless or in pasties, but only for a few seconds. We see some girls' faces but not their bodies. We see some bodies, but no faces. Even the various stripteases last for seconds only. Never once do we get any anticipation, any buildup, any sensuality. A brief bondage scene is upsettingly misogynist. The psychedelia, too, is half-hearted. The nude girl in the lava lamp isn't bad, but the other sequences go nowhere. Again there is no buildup, no sustained energy. Third, the spies are irritating.

Goldweber, David Elroy (2012-06-14). Claws & Saucers: Science Fiction, Horror, and Fantasy Film: A Complete Guide: 1902-1982 (Kindle Locations 78834-78839). David E. Goldweber. Kindle Edition.
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